A friend and I can talk about all sorts of things except one: dating and anything related to romance.
Why? Aside from just not talking about it, my friend gets embarassed to broach the topic, which makes me uncomfortable keeping the conversation going. So, while I can vent about my ex and liking guys to my other friends, and they’ll gladly chime in with their own stories, with this one, I’m not talking about it at all, or very little.
Hence this post–and this is a reminder as to why I shouldn’t discuss love with her.
Over lunch last weekend, I told her about me liking my doctor, and even though I know to not say anything to him, she made me feel terrible. As SOON as the word left my mouth, she cocked her head to the side, gazed down at the table, grimaced, and said, “I wouldn’t do that…”
Well, I’m not her.
I was already embarassed to like him (he’s married and has kids), and her reaction made me feel worse. Like my feelings didn’t matter–that I was wrong to have them. What’s wrong with merely liking someone? Last time I checked, romantic feelings were a very common thing to catch…for anybody, regardless of their job title.
When she asked me how old he was, I thought, ‘Hello! How old do you think is? 70? Nooo…’ (In case you’re wondering, he’s in this thirties. Like me.)
I immediately regretted my decision to tell her my secret, and wanted to take it back. I’ve never had anyone invalidate my feelings. My other friends wouldn’t care–in fact, they’d probably tell me stories about them liking someone in a position of power.
Because of that, my friend made me question myself and ask, “Is it normal to have a crush on your doctor??”
(According to my mom and Google, it is.)
This girl is one of my best friends and for her to have that reaction and comment on my situation hurt.
Jen, don’t discuss love with this friend.
Have you ever had your feelings invalidated? What did you do about it?